May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door.
If you think youre too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctors book.
There’s no whiskey like Irish whiskey, except for the one you spilled.
I told my therapist about my procrastination; well discuss it next week.
When in doubt, make a cup of tea and start over. Preferably with cake.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
An Irishmans greatest treasure is a good sense of humor and a good pub.
May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out, unless there’s dessert.
A Irishman walks into a bar and finds out its actually a pub!
If you cant be a good example, at least be a warning.
Remember, theres no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing and too much rain.
The best tales are told over pints of stout, especially the ones that keep changing.
You cant buy happiness, but you can buy a pint, and thats kind of the same thing.
An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and the besieger inside.
A pint a day keeps the sadness away, or at least makes it more entertaining.
May your glass be ever full, may the roof over your head be always strong, and may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows youre dead.
Im not saying Im clumsy, but Im practicing for my role as a walking disaster.
A friend will always bail you out of jail; a true friend will be sitting right next to you saying Well, that was fun!
Life is too short to drink bad coffee or bad whiskey!
What do you call a bad Irish dance? A heel-by-heel disaster!
Theres no such thing as an ugly potato, but some whiskey comes pretty close.
If youre lucky enough to be Irish, youre lucky enough with a pint in hand!
I often think about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m hereafter.
The Irish dont tell stories to entertain; they do it to keep the truth hidden amongst the laughter.
Dont worry if plan A doesnt work; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet!
You cant make everyone happy. Youre not a pint of Guinness.
In America, anyone can be president. Thats one thing we Irish cant say about our pubs!
I have a love-hate relationship with exercise. I love to eat and I hate to run after it.
The secret to enjoying life is to have a good laugh, a slice of cake, and someone to share it with.
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week, especially for my heart.
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.
A cat may look at a king, but an Irishman will look at the kings pint!
Irish broth: the secret ingredient is always a hearty laugh.
If you can start the day without caffeine, youre either a superhero or just very naive.
A celebration without cake is just a meeting, but an Irish meeting wouldnt be without a pint!
May your life always be like a late-night pub quiz full of laughter and surprising answers!
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love cake and those who are wrong.
A good Irishman knows life is too short for bad whiskey and ugly shoes.
It’s better to be a failure at something you love than a success at something you hate especially if its making bad tea.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I prefer a good pint to go with it.
An Irish wink is a signal that something quite mischievous is about to happen.
Always forgive your enemies, but remember the pint remains!
Laugh whatever youve got to laugh about; its cheaper than therapy!
If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of pub nights!