Sex is like pizza; even when its bad, its still pretty good.
I told my partner that yoga could enhance our sex lifenow they won’t stop bending over!
Sex is the only exercise that comes with a reward, and you dont even have to break a sweat!
Life is too short for bad sexlets spice things up like its Taco Tuesday!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other sidewhere the couples are having great sex!
I thought I wanted a career, but it turns out I just wanted to be good at sex!
Lets skip dinner and go straight to dessertmy bed is looking pretty inviting right now!
My relationship status? Currently in a committed relationship with my Netflix and occasional distractions!
Sex is the only area where I’m not afraid of commitment!
Before you judge me, consider that my sense of humor is only half as weird as my love life!
Is it hot in here, or is it just my love life heating up?
They say love is blind; maybe thats why I trip over my partners shoes all the time!
If were being honest, my sex life is like a unicornmagical, but very rare!
Sex is like air; its not important unless you arent getting any!
I’m just a love machine… but only during peak hours!
Lets do it like they do in the moviesminus the cameras and with way more snacks!
I would say my sex life is a rollercoaster, but that would imply its exciting. More like a merry-go-round!
I have an open-door policy in my love lifecome in, but only if you bring snacks!
You had me at lets skip the foreplay and just order pizza!
Why dont scientists trust atoms in bed? Because they make up everything!
If you cant handle me at my awkwardest, you dont deserve me at my sexiest!
I love long walks to the fridgeespecially after a passionate night!
I’m not saying I’m a sex expert, but I did once win an award for ‘Best Performance in a Homemade Work.’
My partner and I have a no text during sex policy… mostly because we keep sending memes!
In the grand scheme of things, love is like a fartif you have to force it, its probably crap!
Being in love is like being on a rollercoaster; its all fun until someone loses their lunch!
I told my partner I wanted to try out some new moves, but I wasnt ready for the awkward crab!
If sex was a math problem, Id definitely be at the bottom of the class!
I like my love life like my WiFistrong and unexpected disconnections!
Who needs a superhero when you can be a super lover in your pajamas?
Sex is the only thing in life where two wrongs can make a right!
My secret to a long, happy relationship? Keep it spicy and never stop ordering takeout!
If cooking were like my dating life, Id be a master of burnt offerings!
I tried to sign up for a sexy yoga class, but all I got was a workout in embarrassment!
Nothing beats a night of passion… except maybe a night of binge-watching comedies!
Love is all about chemistryespecially when someone forgets to shower!
I’m a lover, not a fighter… unless we’re fighting over the last slice of pizza!
In my world, a sexy night in includes popcorn, pajamas, and zero pants!
They say laughter is the best medicineunless youre trying to be serious between the sheets!
If my love life were a movie, it would probably be a romantic comedylots of laughs and awkward moments!
I have a heart of gold… and a love life made of glitter!
My idea of a wild night is trying to figure out how to fit both of us on the couch!
Alone, Im a romantic; together, were a sitcom!
If sex were an Olympic sport, Id definitely win Most Creative Use of a Pillow!
The heart wants what it wants, but my stomach wants tacospriorities!