Nasty Quotes – Words That Cut Deep

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

Somewhere, there’s a village missing its idiot.

You’re like a software update—whenever I see you, I think, ‘Not now.’

You’re proof that even evolution makes mistakes.

I’d explain it to you, but I’d run out of crayons.

You’re the reason God created the middle finger.

I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.

You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.

You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.

I’d call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful.

You’re like a candle in the wind—useless.

You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.

I’d ask how you are, but I’m afraid you’ll tell me.

You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo.

You’re like a slinky—you bring a smile when you fall down the stairs.

I wish I could be as thin as my patience for you.

You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you better hope they don’t die.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.

Your face makes onions cry.

I’d call you a joke, but that would imply you have a punchline.

You have the perfect face for radio.

You’re a gray matter short of a brain.

You’re not ugly; you’re just a little hard to look at.

You’re like a software bug—annoying and hard to remove.

I’d love to see things from your perspective, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.

You’re living proof that even a broken clock is right twice a day.

You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.

You’re a nice person… for a forking example of bad decisions.

You’re like a fine wine; you make me gag.

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.

You’re the reason we have warning labels.

If there was a contest for your personality, you’d win last place.

You’re a gray cloud in a world full of sunshine.

I’d call you a tool, but I’m afraid you might call for help.

I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.

You’re like the end piece of a loaf of bread—everyone touches you, but no one wants you.

You’re the poster child for why some animals eat their young.