Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a jet ski, and thats pretty close.
I finally found a wallet I can afford its empty!
Money talks, but all mine says is Goodbye.
I dont need a money tree; I just want an unlimited vacation account.
They say money is the root of all evil; I say its just a bad gardener.
My bank account is like a toddler: always crying and never any fun!
If money grew on trees, Id probably still be out of shape from all the raking.
Why dont sharks like to invest? Because theyre afraid of losing their bite!
I tried to be reasonable with my finances; then my credit card company called and suggested otherwise.
If money talks, mine is always mumbling.
Whoever said money cant buy love just didnt know where to shop.
I dont have a problem with money; I have a problem with it leaving my hands too quickly.
I thought I had a money tree, but it turns out it was just a weed.
My financial planner advised me to start my day with coffee; now Im just broke and awake.
Money cant buy class, but it can certainly rent it for a night.
I have a special bond with my money; we both prefer to keep our distance.
They say the best things in life are free; thats why I only have free samples.
I told my wallet to stay put, but it seems it always wants to go out with my credit cards.
Money may not grow on trees, but I know where it spends the most time in my fridge.
I wishing upon a star just to have enough money for groceries!
My wallet is like my fantasy football team: always empty but full of hopes.
Money cant buy you happiness, but it can buy you ice cream, which is pretty much the same thing.
If cash is king, then Im a loyal peasant.
I dont have a spending problem; I have a withdrawing problem.
Im on a seafood diet. I see money, and I eat it!
My savings account is just a collection of dreams I cant afford.
I look at my bank account like a romantic relationship: it keeps leaving me.
My financial motto: In case of emergency, run to the closest sale.
Money cant bring you joy, but it can sure make your sad more comfortable!
I opened a savings account but accidentally saved all my money for spontaneous decisions.
I finally cracked the code to financial success: stop checking your bank balance!
I treat my finances like my plants: ignore them and hope for the best.
I told my money to stay out of my life; now its sending me monthly statements!
Money isnt everything, but it sure makes for a great sidekick.
Id rather be broke and laughing than rich and boring!
My money diet consists of eating ramen until payday.
If my savings account were a movie, it would be a comedylots of laughs and empty pockets.
I wanted to be rich, so I started a penny jar; its now just a jar of regrets.
They say money cant buy time, but it sure can buy a nap!
Im not broke; Im just in recovery from retail therapy.
When it comes to money, I like to keep it lightlike my wallet!
I tried to save money on my diet, but all I got was a snaccident.
Money is like a friend: it comes and goes, but its the fun times that count!
I want to be rich enough so I can complain about how little I have to work.
My budgeting skills are best described as dont look at the receipts.