Retirement: where every day is Saturday, except for laundry day.
I dont know how I found time to work!
Retirement: the only time in life when it’s acceptable to sleep all day long.
Goodbye tension, hello pension!
Im retired, but Im like a professional napper now.
At my age, Ive seen it allevery channel on TV!
Just because Im retired doesnt mean I cant procrastinate like a pro.
Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.
I told my boss I was retiring to spend more time with my family and I wasnt kidding!
Im not retired, Im a professional holidaymaker!
Retirement: the days are long, but my to-do list is shorter.
Did you hear about the guy who became a professional sleeper? Hes officially retired!
Retirement means not having to pretend to be busy anymore.
Age is just a number a really big number in my case!
Retirement is the perfect excuse to do nothing and live in my pajamas.
Finally, I can go for coffee when its not break time!
The secret to a successful retirement is to take a nap every afternoon.
I wish I could be as thin as my money in retirement!
Retirement: where you trade your boss for your favorite coffee shop.
Im on the permanent vacation plan now!
I thought retirement would be peaceful until I realized I had two cats and a dog keeping me busy.
Retirement is like a long vacation, but with a little less packing.
I finally stopped working to pursue my true passion: daydreaming.
Good luck to my old coworkers theyll need it!
The only thing I plan to retire from is my alarm clock.
Its funny how retirement was supposed to give me more time, yet Im busier than ever!
Its not that I dont like work; I just prefer to do it from a hammock.
Who knew retirement came with a side of honey-do lists?
In retirement, I finally have time to be a professional procrastinator.
Im still working on my degree in The Art of Not Working.
My bank account may say retired, but my heart says adventurer.
Retirement: time to break out of the 9-to-5 hamster wheel!
Im retiring for a while to upgrade my social life from virtual to real.
I just realized that Ive spent my whole life preparing for retirement and I cant wait!
Why do they call it retirement? Its really just an extended adventure!
Ive decided to take on a new job: president of my couch!
Forget retirement villages; Im opening a retirement resort!
If Id known retirement was this fun, I would have done it sooner!
Work-life balance? I now just focus on life!
Retirement: when every meal is a picnic.
I used to need a planner; now I just need a nap!
The best part about retirement? I can finally pursue my lifelong dream of doing absolutely nothing!
I dont just retire; I reinvent my days, starting with brunch.
Ive traded my briefcase for a beach towel.
I may be retired, but I still daydream about 5 oclock somewhere!