Parenting: The only job where you can be fired for being late, yet somehow still be the boss.
I used to think I wanted a career. Now I just want a paycheck for my kids’ snacks.
My favorite exercise? Running after my kids while trying to keep my sanity intact.
Being a parent means you’re never really aloneespecially on the bathroom throne.
Parenting is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how to do it.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I think it takes a small country for mine!
Sleep is for the weaksaid every parent ever.
Parenting is the art of getting excited about finding the last chocolate in the stash.
The best part of parenting? Snacking without sharing.
Kidsproof that even chaos has a sense of humor.
Being a parent is like being a magician; one minute youre there, the next you’ve vanished!
Who needs a therapist when you’ve got a toddler to make you reconsider all your life choices?
Kids are like farts; you cant help but laugh, even when they embarrass you!
Parenting: When it becomes socially acceptable to wipe someone else’s nose with your bare hand.
The days are long, but the years are short thank goodness for coffee!
If you want to know the truth about yourself, ask your child. They’ll tell you in five seconds.
Half the battle of parenting is learning to ignore the messespecially your own!
Sometimes I look at my kids and wonder where I went wrong. Then I remember, they came from my genes!
The most surprising thing about parenting? How much backtalk you can get from someone under five feet tall.
Parenting: A series of wins and fails, peppered with occasional laughter and a lot of love.
Behind every great kid is a mom whos pretty sure shes screwing it up.
My kids are proof that I’m not nearly as smart as I thought I was.
Parenting is just one long, crazy scavenger hunt for lost itemsmainly my sanity.
Raising kids is like a walk in the parkJurassic Park.
I dont need an alarm clock; my kids wake me up at all hours with their emergencies.
I thought I was a patient personthen I became a parent.
Kidsthey may not listen to you, but they will definitely repeat everything you say at the worst possible moment!
Parenthood: where the days are long, and the love is forever along with a side of chaos.
Theres no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one!
Parenting is a journey; lets just say were enjoying the scenic route with detours!
Thankful for children who remind me daily that Im capable of more mess than I ever imagined.
If you want to feel overwhelmed, just count the socks and shoes that have mysteriously disappeared.
Life doesn’t come with a manual; it comes with a screaming child instead.
Remember, every time you answer, Whats for dinner? its like pressing the reset button on the day!
Parenting is the ultimate lesson in patience and rapid multitasking.
Kids: the only people who can make you laugh and cry within the same minute.
Welcome to parenthood, where your Netflix account is mostly filled with cartoons.
Behind every great kid is a parent whos pretty sure they are winging it!
Whoever said money cant buy happiness clearly never had a stash of chocolate hidden from the kids.
Silence is goldenunless you have kids. Then its suspicious!
They say laughter is the best medicine, but some days it feels more like the only antidote.
Parenting level: expert juggler of emotions, snacks, and bedtime stories.
Parenting is 90% problem-solving and 10% surviving the chaos.
Having kids is like having roommates that never pay rent, eat all your food, and throw tantrums like it’s a performance art.
My kids may not be perfect, but they sure know how to keep life funny!